There’s no such thing as being in the wrong place at the right time

29 06 2010

For the purpose of this post, I will interchange the terms synchronicity and synergy. I wish there was a word that properly comprised both concepts, but synchronergy sounds awful. So just understand that there are some parts of each word that apply, and it is fully intentional.

So the best way to get started is to connect you to where we left off last time…. I was in San Francisco at a seminar for experts in their fields, and along the way, I had found a new respect and value for myself. I know, it’s something that sounds a little egotistical to say, but it’s completely true.

That evening, I learned something about timing, trust, destiny… In short I learned about the synchronicity of the universe. I learned that we are all EXACTLY where we are supposed to be. I learned that every step on our path, however bumpy, uncomfortable or painful is a necessity to get us to the next place on our never-ending journey.

This blog will chronicle several different stories, which taken separately could be merely coincidences, but when put together show a path that we are incapable of resisting.

First I have to give props to my good friend Clint Arthur, who started bugging me about coming to this seminar weeks in advance. I didn’t have the money to go, I didn’t have the inclination to go, and my relationship had hit another significant bump in the road that made me feel even less like leaving home. But I trust Clint. And that in itself says something. I trust Clint to see things in me that I myself am frequently blind to. At the end of this last year Clint had encouraged me to do the Inner Child Workshop. Hell, he hadn’t encouraged me, he practically dragged me there, but that’s the kind of man Clint is. When he gets his teeth sunk into something, he’s like a pit bull… he just does not let go. And thank god for that.

The inner child workshop was a blessing. At the time I did it, my woman and I had never been more at odds with each other. We had had some serious problems throughout the Summer, and I had moved out for a time, but at that point I was back at home, albeit with one foot out the door. The inner child workshop gave me clarity. It gave me focus. It gave the relationship the chance that it needed to go further. And I owed it all to Clint.

So when Clint says I have to do something, I just do it. And so it was with the seminar. So the first part is just gratitude to the good fortune of having Clint in my life, and the good sense to follow his lead. That good sense got me to the seminar that lifted me to a whole new place in my personal awareness and presence.

Then there was Scott.

It’s one thing to say you are on a new level in your life, or to begin to act on that new belief…. But to manifest a new level of people around you in response to your inner value for yourself… Well, that’s practically unheard of… But so it was with Scott.

For those of you who read the last post, you’ve already met Scott. That evening, I was trying desperately to get myself into a VIP dinner with the other experts from the seminar. Try as I might, I could not find a way to get in. I found myself wandering around by the front desk, when I was approached by a tall, heartfelt man. He asked if I was the Mac guy, and I said that I was. He expressed his deep desire to get over his fears and struggles with his new mac computer. I put my hand on him, and told him I could help. And in that moment we bonded. He tried to get me into that VIP dinner, but failing at that, later that night he brought the VIPs from the dinner to me. That night we hung out at the bar, and he introduced me to one person after another. We laughed and joked into the evening.

A weekend or two after I got home, Scott came into LA, and we got to work together. He became the first of many high level new training clients that walked into my life since that seminar. He was proof that it was a new day for me. At our second training session, I collected my pay for the day, and was rewarded with a several hundred dollar tip on top of my training fees. But it wasn’t the money that was the most valuable part, it was the recognition. I was functioning at the top of my game in computer training, and I was beginning to reap the benefits…

Then came Jennifer….

The night I was waiting to see if Scott would get me into the dinner, I was hanging out in the waiting area near the bar, sipping on a Pinot Noir, and working on my iPad. Up walked Jennifer. She asked about the iPad (the obligatory “Do you love it?”), and I invited her to sit down to talk. She had heard some of the things that I had said during the seminar, and asked me about some basic Mac stuff.

We talked about the amazing live performance we had seen at the end of the seminar that night, by Bo Eason, an ex-football player turned actor and writer. She offhandedly remarked that he lived in Westlake Village, a mere 5 minute drive from where I lived. I thought nothing of it at the time, but the following morning that info would lead to another piece of the puzzle…. but more on Bo Eason in a moment.

While Jennifer and I were talking, my iPad beeped at me with a Facebook message from Sherilyn, my love… I laughed a little too loud at it. Sherilyn and I had been talking earlier in the room, and she expressed some concern over my newfound confidence, but here she was expressing her love for me. Jennifer oversaw the message, and as chance would have it, we began to talk about relationships. She revealed that hers had gone South on her recently. And I revealed some of the troubles i had recently been through. She recommended a book called “The 5 Languages of Love” to me, and told me that if she had read that book earlier it would have saved her relationship.

Not being a man to ignore a good recommendation, I immediately purchased it on the kindle app of my iPad. We spoke a little more as the night went on, but never anything more about the book.

When I got home from the seminar, I told Sherilyn about the book, and purchased it on her Kindle. It sounded great to her, and we were quickly diving into it. It’s a month later now, and I can truly say it was the beginning of a changing point in my relationship. Sherilyn and I have never been closer, and as we explore the concepts of the book together we begin to learn more about ourselves… about each other… about love, and how to express it… and about how to communicate with intention, love and kindness.

I don’t know where we would be had Jennifer not approached me that night, and i don’t want to know. I am just grateful to the universe for putting the gifts I need in my hands time and time again. If we are open to the ways of the world, all the doors will unlock as we approach them, and all the answers will come… in time.

The Bo Eason story still makes me laugh. It was the actual impetus for this entire blog, but the other pieces were integral to it, so they had to be pieced together as well. So let me set the stage….

At the end of the second to last day of the seminar, the crowd was treated to a real treat… unknown to us, we were about to see a piece of true artwork created in front of our eyes. Bo Eason was once an NFL football player, but having retired from ball he had written a one man play called “Runt of the Litter”. It was autobiographical, and chronicled his rise from a small, untalented athlete competing for his father’s love with his stronger, more talented older brother to a professional NFL player, competing at the SuperBowl against a team led by none other than his big brother.

It was awesome. Inspiring. Powerful. And simply indescribable. Every emotion was on display… inches away from our faces. Love, anger, fear, regret, elation, pride… and most of all, true character. It affected everyone in the room, some more than others. For me, it connected me to my relationship to my father.

In the piece, Bo’s character strives to win his father’s affection by becoming a football player and an athlete like his brother. My relationship with my father was different. Very different. I was no athlete. I was a computer geek, a nerd, a chess player, a 98 pound weakling… and my father was a lifelong sports fanatic, and a regular athlete. He plays tennis almost every day, and has always prided himself on his vigor, and physical fitness, even at the age of 70.

For me, sports was what separated me from my father. It was a dividing force for us. His love of football, basketball, tennis, boxing… almost any example of physical prowess…. constantly competed with me for his attention. I got my fair share of his love and attention, and always felt his focus… provided it wasn’t the Superbowl, or the Olympics, or the NBA finals. Don’t get me wrong. I have a great relationship with my father even to this day, and I wouldn’t change a piece of it, I was just oddly affected by how different my experience of sports and fatherhood was from Bo’s.

So I had set it in my head to have a moment with Bo, one on one, and express my appreciation for his heartfelt piece of art, and the powerful gift it had given me of clarity around my relationship with my father. And that following morning, I had my moment.

As I stood at the elevator, alone, coffee in hand, Bo stepped right up beside me. I blinked in disbelief for a moment (I wasn’t in awe at the man, just at the synergy and synchronicity of the universe.) I was reminded again of how much is possible when you trust yourself to manifest your own reality.

In the elevator I told Bo about my relationship with my father, and thanked him. I told him that I had heard he lived near me, and offered him a free hour of technical training as a token of appreciation. He revealed that he was building a new house not one block away from where I live. Not one block away. What are the chances? Any how, we parted ways and headed into the seminar.

He was brought up on stage and did a question and answer session, during which he revealed that he had been trained as an actor by none other than Roy London. Now Roy was a great teacher,but that wasn’t what caught my attention. I had been told dozens of stories about Roy because he was Sherilyn’s acting teacher as well. He had died a few years back, but he had changed her life. And not only did Bo live a block away from me, but he had trained with Roy, whose picture hangs like Jesus Christ in my kitchen in a place of great honor… what are the chances? But wait…

During his Q&A, he talked about how life altering it was to have a great teacher in your life. He told the story of a particular situation when Roy inspired one of his female students. He revealed to her that it was time for her to have a child, and that through that life-altering experience of becoming a mother she would be able to step back out of herself, and reveal her full potential. She would see life from another perspective, that of a parent, and through that she would emerge as a deeper, truer actress, and as a fully multi-dimensional woman… I could not believe my ears… I had heard that story before. Many, many times before. It was one of the life altering moments for Sherilyn. It was the inspiration for Sherilyn to get pregnant… and the product of that inspiration, that lesson, that piece of wisdom is my 16 year old step-son, Myles…. Bo was referencing my woman in his story… Now what were the chances of that?

In this life, in this world, you can never be surprised, or unaware of the so-called coincidences all around us. They are lessons thinly hidden be a veil. They are moments. They are proof of divinity and proof of a plan that is beyond us.

I am where I am supposed to be.

I am doing what I am supposed to be doing.

WE ALL ARE!!!!

Be present.

Be focused.

Be aware.

The signs are all around us….

There is a scene in the old Steve Martin movie “The Man with 2 Brains” that always makes me laugh. He is a widower, with a shrine in his house to his deceased wife… and he has met a demon in the disguise of Kathleen Turner, and fallen in love with her (or so he thinks), and he returns to the shrine to ask his wife for a blessing. “Becca”, he says, “If there’s anything wrong with my feelings for Dolores, just give me a sign.” And the portrait of his ex-wife spins in circles, and an ominous ghostly “NOOOOOOOOOOO” can be heard all around. The candles flare up and shake, and the wall begins to crack apart. Wind blows all around the room, and the NOOOOOOOOOO gets louder and louder, then finally calms down, and completely unphazed and unaware, Steve Martin looks right at the portrait and says “Just any kind of sign…. I’ll keep on the lookout for it.”

That’s not me anymore…

As I look at the world around me, I will ask for guidance, for wisdom, for clarity, for purpose…

Any sign will do… and I will be on the lookout for it.

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Today is the Day to Level Up!!!!

5 06 2010

So the day started innocuously enough… that is to say innocuous for a weekend that started with a deepening recognition of my own value that resulted in a global raise of my consulting fee. My friend, and one of my success inspirations, Clint Arthur and I awoke in the hotel room in San Francisco we’ve been sharing while we attended a Expert’s seminar. We laughed and joked, and got dressed, and headed downstairs for breakfast. Once there we crashed the table of a couple of other guests at the seminar, and enjoyed coffee and a simple breakfast.

From there, we entered the seminar and spent the next few hours enjoying a presentation by success guru Brian Tracey. It was inspirational. He taught us that all it takes to be a millionaire is to simply DECIDE to be a millionaire. Now, being a millionaire has never been an ultimate life-driving goal of mine. If it happens along the way to my life goal I’ll be happy to accept it, but it’s not what drives me. For the last year, what has driven me is the desire to be known commodity in the Macintosh community. I have envisioned myself writing a column for a popular magazine, having my own radio show or tv show, being an invited guest on talk shows to discuss technology, and many other things. And in that room right then and there I DECIDED that I would make that all happen. Easy to make a decision like that, but as Brian Tracey said, once you make that decision you irrevocably step over a line….

And so I stepped over that line.

When the presentation came to an end, we got an hour for lunch, and Clint and I headed for the restaurant to crash someone else’s table and enjoy a great meal. At least I thought Clint was with me, but when I turned around he was nowhere to be found. I chatted it up with a man I had met the prior evening, and prepared to crash his table and join him for lunch, when Clint reappeared, grabbed my arm and said “You have to come with me RIGHT NOW!!!”

So I did, and along the way, he explained that Brian Tracey was letting people take pictures with him, and Clint wanted to get a picture of Brian holding Clint’s Wealth Doubling book, and I needed to take the picture, which I did. Then I figured as long as I was there I would take a picture with him as well, and have him hold my ipad with my website showing on the screen. Clint shot that pic, and Brian and I laughed as he played with my iPad and I told him what I do for a living.

As we walked away, Clint and I saw Barbara De Angelis, a best-selling author and inspirational speaker who had given a presentation the prior day. We decided to get a picture with her as well. Clint told her about his book series, and I told her that I was the MacWhisperer, and explained my philosophy that ANYONE can learn to use technology. She laughed, put her hand on me and told me that I needed to write a book, and that she would endorse that book right here and now. It was like she reached into my soul and turned a know, and something just clicked. I knew she was right.

I walked away stunned, and over the next couple of hours came up with a title for the book and a marketing plan to sell it. I came back up to Barbara at the next break and told her my book would be called “You Can Be the Smartest Person in the Room; How to stop fighting your technology and start LOVING it!!!” She smiled and threw her arms around me…”I love it!!!” she exclaimed, “I have no doubt that that is a New York Time’s Bestseller!!!”

Which only served to piss off (but not really) Clint, who has spent the last several years declaring that HE would be a best-selling author, while it has never even occurred to me.

Now, that evening there was a special VIP dinner scheduled for many of the participants of the seminar… including Clint, but not including me.

As we sat through the next presentation, an awesome One Man Play by ex NFL star Bo Eason, I realized that I was SUPPOSED to be at that VIP dinner, and I decided that whatever it took, I was not going to let Clint go to that dinner without me.

Over the past couple of days, I have networked and hobnobbed, and connected with many of the influential people who were outing on the seminar. I walked up to one, and asked her to help me, and get me into that dinner. She told me there was no way to do it, the room was completely filled. My heart sank, but based on everything I had learned today, I was not about to let one NO stand in my way… “I’m supposed to be at that dinner.” I stated. But she swore that there was no way she could do it. The dinner was completely full.

I walked up to the next person, and the next person, getting a NO each time. There just was no room, but I was unshakable in my belief that I was SUPPOSED to be at that dinner. Even Barbara couldn’t help me get in. Unsure of what to do next, I walked towards the front desk, and waiting for inspiration…

At that point, a man walked up, and put his hand on my shoulder. He was huge. Easily 6’7. “You’re the mac guy….” he said, and I smiled and said that I was. He looked me in the eye and said, “I heard what you said in front of the room yesterday, and I have some people you NEED to meet… I’m closely connected with Brendon Brouchard(the man putting on the seminar), and I’ve worked with Tony Robbins, and I want to introduce you around.”

He went on to tell me that he had just bought a Mac a couple of months ago and was completely lost. I smiled, and put my hand on his chest…. “I can help.” I said, and I felt his entire body relax beneath my hand.

“Thank God, then I can stop worrying.”

“But I need your help too,” I continued… “I’m supposed to be at this VIP dinner…”

“Don’t move.” He said, and walked off to talk with one of the event organizer. I didn’t know what to think. I didn’t dare move a muscle. A moment later he came back, and said “I’m sorry. They have a full room, and a full table, and there’s just no way to get in… but don’t worry, everyone will be coming straight back after dinner, and I will call you when we get here, and I will introduce you to the people you need to meet. See you after dinner.” and he took my card, shook my hand and walked away… and I knew then as I do know, that that was what was SUPPOSED to happen. That would give me a chance to collect my thoughts, take a shower, call my beautiful woman at home, connect with my business partner, have a nice quiet peaceful dinner in my room (which sounded much, much more appealing to me anyway), and write THIS blog.

So, I expect that call any minute, and I will go downstairs, cross that line, and trust in whatever is SUPPOSED to happen….

And whatever it is, I will be grateful. In the past 96 hours, I have leveled up in my life, my business, my career, my dreams, and a million other areas… and the night is still young.






The Amazon and the Iceberg

12 04 2010

I’ll start this story off by copping to the fact that at this time in my life I had not finished college. Don’t get me wrong, I had been on track to graduate college, I just hadn’t crossed the finish line. I had been 17 when I started college at USC Film School. In my second year of college, I met a woman, got into a relationship with her, and unexpectedly started a family. This pulled my focus away from the pretend world of college and firmly into the very real world of parenting. Shortly after my daughter was born, her mother passed away, and I became a full-time single Dad. The dream of finishing school seemed to get farther and farther away as I took on a day job to pay rent, and found myself coming home at the end of a long work day drained, exhausted, and still needing to be a father. Time passed, and along the way I started other relationships, met women, went out on dates, went to clubs, and followed around one of my friend’s bands.

It was at one of my friend’s shows that I met her… one of the women who would have an indelible, lasting impact on my life, and not at all in the way you think. I don’t want to use her name here, but I’ll allude to it. She had taken on the name of a famous vine swinging jungle man, and it was oddly appropriate since she was a 6 ½ foot tall amazon herself. She was tall and well-built, with long streaming blonde hair. She was hot and knew it… flaunted it… used it…

I had been on a few “dates” with her in a friendly capacity, but this night was different. This was an actual date. Just the two of us, no noisy rock band, no other friends, just this tall drink of water and myself. I picked her up at her pad on Melrose, and took her out to a nice meal. We laughed, and flirted, and boy did she flirt back, never failing to blow a kiss, or smile, or bat her eyes. After the dinner we laughed, and walked arm in arm to the nearby movie theatre.

This was 1997, and at the time the biggest movie of all time was in theatres. You know the flick…. DiCaprio, Winslet, and a fucking enormous hunk of ice. Now don’t get me wrong, in retrospect, the movie is definitely not all that… but at the time, it wasn’t about the story, or the dialogue or the slightly schmaltzy love story… it was about the experience. James Cameron had delivered something that reminded people what was great about movie making… he united an entire country in the collective experience of being on that ship’s final fateful journey. When you stepped into that theatre you physically left dry land and spent the duration of the trip on an experience… a true popcorn epiphany, surrounded by a full theatre audience that was on the same journey with you. When the boat creaked, and the boat began to break apart, you have expected your feet to get wet. Every sound, every effect was designed to make you feel a visceral part of that experience. It succeeded beyond al measures at fully capturing the audience’s imagination and attention. A true classic movie experience… even if the movie was a little hokey.

But that’s not the way the Amazon saw it. To her it was just a lousy movie with lousy writing and flat acting. To her it was an overblown and unbelievable love story wrapped around a historical contrivance. To her it was the worst that Hollywood, or even America has to offer. It was an embarrassment, a waste of celluloid, and an all around complete waste of her valuable time… and after the movie we had a drag out knock down fight about it.

She was not just content to insult the movie, she had to drag the entire audience into it. She called them slow, stupid and dim-witted for falling prey to the marketing machine, and believing that this was a movie worth seeing. They were fools, and America was full of morons if this was what passed for entertainment…

I argued with her, trying to explain that it was about the experience of the film, not the movie itself. It was about being a part of something. It was about a collective socially bonding moment where the entire audience became as one… but she would have none of it. It was just schlock. Nothing more. And then she said it… I couldn’t believe what I heard then, and almost 15 years later, I still can’t believe she said it.

“Well,” she said smugly, “I graduated from Yale, so I should know!”

I was dumbfounded. I had long since given up any hope of taking this woman to bed, and was just trying to salvage the last vestiges of my own sanity through this discussion, but that stopped me dead. It wasn’t that I didn’t want to say something, or couldn’t have said something, it was just that I didn’t know what to say, but I knew what I WANTED to say.

“Well I graduated from USC Film School, so I should know BETTER!!!!”

But I hadn’t graduated… and I knew it. I couldn’t say anything. I felt like the scarecrow, and somehow her diploma did make her smarter…

I don’t remember the rest of the evening, or what if anything was said after that between us, but I do remember that feeling of having this woman taunt me with her supposedly elite educational accomplishments. I remember the feeling of not having completed something that had been important to me. I remember feeling less than….

And within a few days I was in action. I pulled together info about USC. Found out how many credits I was shy, how much classes cost, what I needed to do to secure student loans, and I made a vow to myself that I would never get stuck in a discussion like that again. I felt like an unarmed man at a gunfight. This time I was going to finish what I started.

Before long I was back in classes with a new passion. The first time I had been in college it had been for my parents, for my pride, for the bragging rights…. This time it was for me. I delved into classes hard. I took challenging courses and kept rigorous notes. I took pride in my education, and I paid for every class with my own money. Along the way, I sold a TV pilot, helped my father get through a divorce, dated and got engaged to a sorority girl, and found myself, but those are all stories for other posts….

I remember before I went back, I had been keeping a long, long to-do list. It was a chronicle of every thing I wanted to do but hadn’t gotten around to yet. Write a book, travel to Europe, start a business, buy a computer, get my daughter to the dentist, buy toothpaste…. Just an epic running chronicle of a million tasks, and in bold letters FINISH SCHOOL. A friend had given me some great advice when he saw my list. He suggested I break it into two lists…. He explained that some tasks are reoccurring, and never really go away (like wash the car, or pick up the dry-cleaning), while others get finished and then are done, never to find their way back onto your to-do list (like get a dog, buy a new car, have kids… etc). Those one time tasks are the ones to focus on, because once they’re done, they’re done… So I followed his advice, and reorganized my list. There has never been a greater sense of satisfaction or pride than the day I got to look at that list and just draw a big dark line across that one lonely task:

FINISH SCHOOL

What’s the moral here? Well, my beautiful woman shared a concept with me recently. She explained that for any situation, there is always a reason to do it, and a reason not to do it… and then there is the third force… a separate entity that pushes us all to make one decision or the other. For me, the Amazon was the third force, and for that I am forever grateful. The moral is that you never know when, how, or through whom that third force is going to show up and change everything for you… be conscious of the people you meet, be clear in your intentions, and always be ready to plant that tree, otherwise you might find yourself stranded on a sinking ship with a 6 foot tall Amazon and an impending date with a gigantic fucking iceberg….